


A Family Of Sorts

by smergrl3495



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dojima's actual A+ Parenting, Family, Family Feels, Father Figures, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Found Family, Gen, He wasn't great before but he's doing his best now to make up for it, Hugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-12-03 00:05:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11520348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smergrl3495/pseuds/smergrl3495
Summary: This story explores the relationships that developed between Dojima and the Investigation team over the course of the game and beyond. Ranges from cute and fluffy to a bit angsty, but I’ll try and keep it toned down. No Slash!





	1. Kanji Tatsumi

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this on my computer for a while and finally decided to post the one finished chapter I have. The others are in various states of written, so any encouraging words or suggestions are very much welcomed. :D

Setting: After New Years. 

It had been snowing the past few days, and even though he knew the doctor had told him to take it easy with his injuries, he figured that taking the walk to see her wouldn’t put too much strain on his body. It was quite cold out, and due to Yu nagging him before he even opened the door he was adjourned with not only his thickest sweater, but also his heaviest winter coat. It felt like a sauna under all the thick wool, but he didn’t dare take it off. had friends all over town, and he had no doubts that somehow word would get back to the kid.

The thought made him chuckle. ‘Never would have thought that a teenage boy could scare me into wearing a coat in the cold. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?’ Yu could be pretty damn persuasive when he wanted to though, and could out-scold his mother any day.

He almost downright giggled at the thought of Yu in an apron, waving a wooden spoon at him and telling him to put on a jacket because it was cold out. ‘What kind of drugs do they have me on to imagine this sort of stuff?’ he wondered. 

It wasn’t until that moment that he realized that he had already made it to his destination. Any humor he felt quickly died, replaced with the overwhelming sadness he always felt when he went to see her. He kneeled down, being careful to mind his injuries, and began wiping the snow off the stone. He didn’t stop until the words were once more visible. Chisato- a wonderful mother and a loving wife. Tears came unbidden to his face, even after all these years. Pictures flashing through his mind, the first time they met, their first date, their wedding day, the day that Nanako was born, the day that she…that she… He reached out and grabbed hold of the stone, trying to keep his balance from the waves of grief bombarding him.

Soon he got a hold of himself, and upon taking a few deep breaths started to speak. “It’s been a while hasn’t it dear? A whole ‘nother year had gone by. I know I should stop by and visit more, but work has been busy.”

He paused for a second, as if she were actually answering, and then continued. “Yeah, I know I should let up for a bit, but with the murders and then Nanako getting sick, well I’ve just had a lot on my plate lately. Don’t worry though, Nanako’s doing fine, the doctor’s said that she’s getting stronger every day, and that she should be back to normal soon.”

He looked away from the grave for a moment, but decided to continue on, knowing that he had to continue. “You know, I took in my sister’s boy this year. You know, Yu? We went to see him shortly after he was born. He’s a lot bigger now, sixteen years old and yet sometimes I think he’s more of an adult than I am. He’s certainly taken better care of our daughter…”

At that he got up, and took a few paces away from the grave. He couldn’t bear look at her right then, as strange as it sounded. It had been a problem even before she had died, him spending too much time at work and not enough with her and Nanako. After she died it had only gotten worse, him leaving Nanako alone to deal with her grief while he threw himself into trying to find her killer. He had always hoped that once he found her killer, it was once then, not if, she would forgive him for this. 

But since Yu came and called him out on his bullshit he’s begun to realize all the mistakes that he made, and just how badly he had messed up in dealing with it. 

He turned back to the grave, summoning all the courage he could muster. “He’s been a big help you know. He’s brought this family back from the edge of destruction, hell he’s even added a few new members to the mix.” At this he smiled fondly, thinking of Yu’s friends, the kids over at his house so often he’s contemplated charging room and board.

“They’re good kids, the lot of them, and though I don’t always understand what’s going on with them, I’m getting better. I’m getting better at a lot of things.” This last bit was spoken in the barest of whispers. “I just wish that you were here to see it.”

He leaned down once more, pressing his forehead against the cool stone, as he had done every year since that fateful first New Year after her death. “I love you Chisato. I always will.” 

With that he stood up, stretching out his rapidly stiffening muscles. Yet this time he noticed something off in the distance, a splotch of black that stood out against the white backdrop of snow. He could barely make it out, yet his curiosity had been peaked. He took one last moment to let his fingers linger over the stone, and made his way of to the other side of the graveyard.

The closer he got the more things he noticed. For one thing the shape he saw was definitely a person, but it wasn’t just anyone. He swore that he knew them, but from this distance he couldn’t tell who it was. He then noticed that the black color was due to the leather jacket that the person wore. Wait… leather jacket? He only knew one person who wore that, which means that obviously the person kneeling in front of the stone was…

Kanji.

He approached the boy slowly, though upon closer inspection he realized he could probably have driven up in his squad car sirens blazing and the boy wouldn’t have noticed. His body was statue still, and the only way that Dojima could even tell the boy was conscious was by the tremors that racked his body, both from emotion and most likely the cold, seeing as the kid definitely wasn’t dressed for the weather. He had abandoned his winter clothes for the jacket and t-shirt he was best known for.

Dojima thought about turning away and leaving the boy to his grief, but the thought of him freezing out here, or at least catching a nasty cold nagged at him. He had just told Chisato that he was getting better at the emotional stuff hadn’t he? Better at understanding what people needed?

He gently reached out and firmly gripped Kanji’s shoulder, attempting to break him out of his still state. This seemed to startle the boy, as he quickly turned around and wildly swung his fists at the intruder. Dojima easily dodged him, though this sent up warning flags in his head, because he knew Kanji was a hell of a lot better fighter than that, especially considering that Dojima was injured and couldn’t do much to fight back.

Kanji however, upon realizing who had interrupted his silent vigil, quickly backed away from the detective.

“Hey man, I mean, shit Dojima-san, way to scare a guy!” Even as he started to fall back into his patented tough guy act, Dojima still saw a flash of fear in his eyes, though this was also drowned out by the sadness that seemed to encompass them.

He slowly reached out his hand once more and gently gripped Kanji’s shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I was just here visiting someone and saw something in the distance. Regardless, what are you doing out here on a day like this? Shouldn’t you and the others be planning some indoor fun on a cold day like this?”

Kanji looked away at that, though he seemed to make great efforts not to dislodge Dojima’s hand when he did this. If anything he leaned just a little bit more into it. “I was just…you know…visiting my dad.”

Ah.

So that was it. He couldn’t say he was surprised. Why else would someone be in a graveyard at this time of year but to visit a loved one that had already gone on to the next world?

“I’m sorry to have interrupted then.” And with that he removed his hand, not quite missing Kanji’s small look of loss at its absence.

“It’s alright.” And with that the boy turned back to the grave, seemingly fully expecting the man to walk away and leave him kneeling in the snow.

In fact, he almost did, but something made him turn around at one last look at the boy. He was shivering even more violently now, as if just realizing how very cold it was out and how very lightly he was dressed. Kanji’s arms traveled up to wrap around his torso, both to bring warmth to his rapidly cooling body, but also to give himself what looked suspiciously like a self-hug.

Dojima knew he couldn’t leave the boy like that, so he moved the few feet back until he was behind the boy, gently undoing and shucking off his coat so that he didn’t jar his injuries. That done, he settled the coat around the teen, who grew suddenly tense from shock when he first felt the thick wool surround him. The sudden warmth that engulfed him prevented him from registering Dojima lowering himself down onto the snow and settling himself next to him.

Once realizing it however a look of dread spread over his face, and he was quick to protest. “Dojima-san, I can’t take this! You’re still weak from your injuries, and you don’t want to get sick on top of that!”

A small smile graced Ryotaro’s lips, and he looked at the distraught teen with an almost amused fondness.

“It’s okay kid, I was baking in there, this sweater is more than enough for me. Besides, you didn’t really think that I’d just let you sit here freezing in the snow?” He kept going because the look on Kanji’s face told him that he definitely had expected him to do just that. “I don’t really have anywhere to be right now, so I’ll stay with you until you’re ready to head back. It’d be nice to have a bit of company on the walk home anyway.”

Kanji nodded, and Dojima chose to ignore the wetness in his eyes. This kid, more than any other he had met, had a deep sense of what he thought was manly pride. Of course, as Yu put it, it was closer to pig-headed ignorance. Dojima’s emotional sensitivity wasn’t so bad that he couldn’t plainly tell the kid was desperate for comfort of any kind, but would rather die than ask for it. It was mainly this and thoughts of that he should have been more comforting to Nanako after her mother’s death that led him to lean over and wrap an arm around the blonde delinquent’s shoulders. He used the kid’s surprise to his advantage, and used the motion to draw Kanji closer to his side, so that their torsos were touching and the boy’s head was leaning feather light against his shoulder.

While he was doing this Kanji once again tensed up, stiff as a board, obviously not expecting the man to not only keep him company on a day like this, but for him to actually provide any form of comfort to him was mind boggling. In his mind Dojima was what a man should be; strong, looked out for his family, and always stuck to his morals. That he could show this kind of affection and general ‘touchy-feelyness’ was definitely contradictory to what Kanji had thought a real man was like.

Yet, Kanji couldn’t deny that he wanted the comfort, wanted to forget that sense of loneliness and abandonment that filled him whenever he visited his father’s grave. He also couldn’t deny the fact that he quite liked the feeling of the strong arm around his shoulders acting like a barrier for the hurt he felt, or the warmth that Dojima nearly radiated; coupled with the coat the man had draped over his shoulders, quickly heating his chilled body.

What surprised him the most however was the inexplicable safety that he felt from the detective, which caused his tense body to relax against the older man. This feeling of safety was very nice indeed, as it had been so long since someone bigger and stronger was able to wrap their arms around him. Hugs from his mom were certainly nice, and he cherished every one, but this hug made him feel a kind of safety that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

This was most likely what drew him to suddenly turn into Dojima’s side and cry his eyes out.

Dojima took it quite well actually, because after a few seconds of stiff shock he brought up his other arm and wrapped that around the boy, rubbing his back both to soothe the sobs and to warm up his body to a more suitable temperature.

This continued for a while, and once Kanji had finally cried himself out he was still reluctant to leave the embrace, so instead of untangling himself from the hug and going back to sitting side by side he merely turned around so that his back rested on Dojima’s chest and just took a few calming breaths. Throughout the whole time Dojima never released his hold, staying there as long as the kid needed him. 

Eventually Kanji started to shift, and Dojima’s grip slackened. They both stood up and wiped the snow off as best they could before starting the trek back to the entrance. Along the way Dojima’s arm once again wrapped itself around Kanji’s shoulder, and if Kanji pressed himself against him on the way back to the Dojima residence, well then no one was there to see anyhow.

Kanji stayed over that night, with Dojima calling up his mother and telling her what happened. He could almost hear the woman’s smile from the other end, her strong, steady “Thank you” letting him know that he had done the right thing. After hanging up he took a second to smile, thinking that perhaps he was getting better at this, just like he had told Chisato.

He snapped out of his line of thought with Nanako’s declaration that the movie was about to start and he hurried over to situate himself on the couch. And so, it ended up that he spent most of the movie with Nanako on his lap, quickly slipping off to sleep. To his right was Kanji, curled up next to him with his head once again leaning up against his shoulder. He was quickly losing the battle to stay awake, though Dojima supposed that all that crying would have taken a lot out of him. To his left Yu kept sneaking glances at his friend, all the while looking knowingly at his uncle, who just smiled and pretended to be invested in whatever movie Nanako had picked for the night. When it was finally over he roused the blonde boy who had almost fallen asleep and directed him to the pull out couch in Yu’s room while he went about getting Nanako ready for bed.

Once his little girl was fast asleep in her room he quietly went to check on the boys. Once he got there he found that Kanji was also sound asleep though Yu still had a look of alertness that fixed on his uncle immediately.

“Thank you.”

Dojima was a bit perplexed at his nephew’s words. “What for?”

“For doing this for him, for being there. There’s only so much a friend can do.”

Dojima smiled at this, leave it to his nephew to always be thinking about others. “Well, he’s a good kid, more than others give him credit for. If I can help him, then I will.”

“Yeah,” Yu agreed with a yawn, “that’s just the kind of guy you are.”

Dojima smiled, backing out the door slowly so as not to wake Kanji, “I guess it just runs in our family huh?”

The last thing he saw before closing the door was a soft smile on his nephew’s face.


	2. Yu Narukami

It had been weeks since Adachi had admitted to the murders, longer still since he and Nanako had been released from the hospital. The fog had been lifted, and Inaba was starting to go back to the way it had always been. Once his injuries had healed up he’d gone back into work, though with the murders no longer at the forefront of everyone’s mind everything was quiet. This lead to a near unprecedented quiet period at the station, and Dojima had found that more days than not he was able to get home at a decent hour.

He’d been enjoying it actually, getting to spend more time with Yu and Nanako. In the last week they’d eaten every dinner together, and one day he was let off early enough he was able to help prepare dinner. That in itself had been an experience, and while he had fun working with the kids in the kitchen it was soon made painfully obvious why Chisato had cooked all the meals. He couldn’t help but snicker as the two kids banished him from the kitchen, though he did have the good grace to blush when Nanako commented that “Daddy’s sure lucky we’re around big bro, or he’d probably starve.” Yu smirked, replying in slightly smug tone “I’m not sure Nanako, do you think he could work a microwave?” At that he reached over and flicked the boy on the ear. “Just eat your food,” he said, and with that they tucked in, though they enjoyed some pleasant conversation throughout the meal.

It was later in the evening, after he put Nanako to bed, that the relaxed tone the night had taken was abruptly ended. He’d entered the main room to see Yu sitting at the kitchen counter, holding the coffee cup that Dojima had given him early in the year. The smile that had been on his face throughout supper was gone, and was replaced with an apprehensive look that he rarely saw on the boy’s face.

Yu hadn’t looked up when he entered, but when he heard him he’d averted his eyes which put up even more warning flags in his mind. Figuring coffee was the best place to start, and wasn’t it always, he passed behind his nephew to measure out the grounds and start the machine. On the way by he quickly gripped the boy’s shoulder, hoping to take away some of the tension. It seemed to help, as the boy sighed loudly and upon loosening his shoulders, leaned back in his chair.

For a while the two sat in silence as the water bubbled and boiled, but soon enough the coffee was ready. Dojima walked back over and plucked the mug from his nephew’s grip, filling both his and then Dojima’s own. He then set the steaming cup in the boy’s waiting hands, and leaned up against the counter, sipping his own drink. They waited in silence for a while, until it was quite obvious that Yu would not explain what had him riled unless questioned.

“So, is something wrong?” he asked. He’d never been one for beating around the bush. The boy looked into his cup, as if the steaming liquid would give him the words to answer his uncle’s questions. Then gathering his seemingly never ending courage, and really, Dojima had been really meaning to tell the boy just how much he admired that about him, Yu looked him in the eyes and said “I need to explain to you about how we solved the murders.”

Dojima paused at that, as it was a subject that neither of them had really broached since that night in the police station. Of all the things that had been said that night Yu’s near impossible confession had been forgotten in the face of Nanako’s kidnapping. However, Yu kept going, and the more he spoke the harder it was for Dojima to comprehend what he was hearing. The things that Yu had told him seemed impossible. A TV world, shadows, personas, and all of this had happened for months with him none the wiser. The detective in him could tell the boy wasn’t lying, and everything that Yu told him made sense with what he already knew.

When the boy finally finished he quickly glanced up to read his uncle’s face, then returned his eyes to his by now quite cold coffee. For a while the two sat in silence. The boy was waiting for the reaction of the one stable adult in his life, and the man was trying to wrap his head around the danger that the child before him had been in practically since coming here. He thought of how much Yu had to face on his own, how he had to constantly hide what he had been feeling and had still managed to juggle battling shadows and saving people with solving a murder mystery. That was not to mention how he’d helped multiple people around Inaba, including Dojima himself, kept up a few part time jobs, and still pulled almost straight A’s at school.

With this amazement came guilt though. That Yu had been put through so much, yet never complained or lashed out at others. The kid was a marvel, and he caught himself thinking as he so often did these days how lucky he was to have the boy here. Now, looking at Yu avoiding his eyes and his shoulders once again tense, he felt a sudden burst of unconditional love in his heart, a warm feeling that only two people before this boy had ever inspired. One of whom was asleep upstairs; the other had left a long time ago. 

He soon realized that Yu was waiting for him to say something and looking more closely he realized that the boy’s hands were shaking. “I’m sorry,” he said suddenly, and Dojima was startled by the outburst. “I should have told you sooner what was going on. It’s just—I was afraid that…” The boy seemed to curl even further into himself, and the second half of his sentence was said so quietly the detective almost missed it. “I was afraid that you were going to send me back to my parents.”

The shock at that statement must have showed on Dojima’s face, because Yu suddenly got a look of panic on his face and started to backtrack. “I mean, not that it’s a bad thing, if you want me to go! I would never stay here if you didn’t want me anymore. It’s just that you’ve been really good to me since I’ve come to stay here, and I really appreciate all you’ve done for me. And if I had to go back I’d miss everyone, my friends, Nanako, you…” The boy’s mind finally seemed to catch up to his mouth here, and he blushed furiously. “I’m just being stupid, sorry.” Yu once again stopped talking, but now the shaking had moved from his hands to his whole body and Dojima’s stomach started twisting in guilt. The kid was practically having a panic attack over his lack of response. Yu had done so much, had practically saved the whole town a few times over, and he couldn’t even answer him.

Dojima knew he had to do something. He thought he’d been getting better at the emotional stuff, he’d promised Chisato he would get better at it. But looking back on the last year had he done enough to show Yu that he cared about him? He’d told him a few times that he was proud of him, had given him the cup to show that he was part of the family, but obviously that wasn’t enough if even a small part of the boy had thought that he would send him away once the truth of the murders came out. The boy hadn’t even done anything wrong yet believed that his uncle would be mad at him, would actually want him to leave. How could he ever think that Dojima would not want him here, with his family? How had he not noticed this insecurity before?

Dojima had often tried not to do things in his life without thinking them over. As a cop you had to try and take the most logical course of action, you’re trained to think things through and make the best choice possible. Here though, he let his instinct take over, and did something he should have done as soon as Yu had explained everything. He set down his cup and took him by the shoulders, calming the boy’s still shaking form. Once he’d calmed a little Dojima moved his arms to wrap around his nephew’s thin frame, one hand settling on his back and the other reaching up to cup the back of his head.

Yu took in a deep breath, obviously shocked by his uncle’s actions. He couldn’t remember the last time either of his parents had hugged him, and though Dojima had come a long way in understand emotions in both himself and others, this was certainly not something Yu had considered happening when he revealed the truth to his uncle.

Dojima did not stop at the hug, as soon the hand on Yu’s back began rubbing large, slow circles on his back and the older man cleared his throat to get his attention. “You know…” he started, voice gravelly “You know I wouldn’t send you away right?” The boy nodded. He had known, he just needed to hear it be said, needed to know for sure. “I believe you, in case that needs to be said too. I trust that what you’re saying is true.” As an afterthought he added in “I trust you.”

Yu smiled at that, relieved that he wouldn’t have to leave and that his uncle believed him, even though he knew how outlandish the story sounded. He brought his hands, which had previously been hanging limp at his sides, and started to push himself away from his uncle’s chest. The man had made his point and he thought that that would be the end of it.

Dojima had other plans however, as it hadn’t really hit him until this moment how little the kid thought of himself. He had honestly believed that there was a chance that he would be sent for telling the truth about the murders. Like that had been in any way his fault, like it was anything that he should be punished for. Like he was so insignificant that something like this could justify forcing him to leave his friends and the new life he had made for himself.

Did he not realize how much he meant to everyone? To his friends, to Nanako, to Dojima himself? He hugged the boy tighter, vowing right now to ensure that before the night was over the boy would understand just how loved he was. He knew he would not get a chance like this again, with the boy so open and needing to hear what he had to say. On an ordinary day Yu could brush his comments off, smiling and directing the conversation to easier topics. He always did that, made life easier for others, even if that often lead to life being harder for him. He loved everyone so much and gave so much of himself, yet expected so little in return.

“You…” and why was it so hard to say? He had tried to show the boy that he loved him, had thought it a thousand times; it shouldn’t be so hard to say it. “You know I love you, right?” Upon hearing the question Yu froze. He did know his uncle loved him, he did, sometimes. But to hear it said so plainly, like it was a foregone conclusion, was so odd. That an adult in his life, someone he viewed with respect and loved as much as he dared to had just said that he loved him. The hands that had been poised to push himself away from the embrace seemed to move on their own, as they shot out and latched onto his uncle.

He started shaking again, and he heard his voice say “I- I love you too.” He couldn’t remember thinking that, but in that moment nothing could be more true. He loved this man who had supported him in his time in Inaba, who had opened his home to a near stranger. This detective who wasn’t as bad as he thought he was, who just needed a little help to see what he had to do to get everything back on track. He was used to helping people and getting little in return, but since coming to Inaba this continually proved to not be the case. In his time here he had forged bonds that had allowed him to overcome adversity. This bond was one of them, but he hadn’t really considered how deep the bond between him and his uncle really went.

They were family, had been family for months. It was living here that had forced him to understand that the relationship he had with his parents wasn’t really familial, if anything they were more absent roommates than caregivers. In the year he had been here neither of his parents had tried to contact him once. No letters, emails, phone calls or texts. But really, he hadn’t expected any different. Even when he had lived with them, and he used that term lightly as it was difficult to claim you lived with someone if you saw them so rarely, they had been distant. He couldn’t remember the last meal they shared, and the only conversation in recent memory was the phone call explaining that he was going to spend the year at his uncle’s, a man who he only knew from pictures.

Could he even remember his mother’s smile? His fathers laugh? Sometimes he thought he could grasp these memories, but they would always slip through his fingers, like trying to hold onto rushing water. It had been painfully obvious in his childhood that they had never wanted children outside of the fact that not having them would have seemed odd. His parents hated things that were odd or out of place, evidenced by how clean and organized their house had always been. He too had learned that certain things were unacceptable if he ever wanted to gain his parents acceptance. 

“Draw inside the lines, the picture will be prettier that way.”

“Don’t make so much noise Yu, I’m on the phone.”

“No Yu, your mother and I are too busy to come to the school, handle the problem by yourself.”

“Be a good boy and play in your room, we’re having company over.”

So many rules, so many things that he did wrong. He had tried, for years he had tried, to do everything that they wanted. He solved his own problems, studied hard for school, never letting his grades get below the level they expected of him. He never acted out, as this always led to his parent’s ire. Though even when he did everything that they asked him all he ever got was a cold nod of dismissal. He soon found that his parents were happier if they could pretend he didn’t exist. So that’s what he did. He stopped asking for attention, stopped trying to make conversation, to do things he thought families did and instead confined himself to his room, being good and quiet and unobtrusive. 

These habits soon bled into the rest of his life. He stopped raising his hand in school, stopped trying to play with the other kids at recess. By that time he had been in middle school, and though his friends had had tried to get him interested in their games again, they had soon given up and found more fun people to play with. His teachers ached to do something for the boy, but his near perfect grades and behavior led them little to protest against. They might have brought it up to the boy’s parents; that is if they ever showed up to the interviews. He would help others if asked, but otherwise would isolate himself from anyone who came near. As the years went by they saw the light that had once been in his eyes slowly leach out until they were almost lifeless.

He hadn’t really considered himself lonely, no he just knew that having him around only made people unhappy, unless of course he was doing something that would benefit them, so it was in everyone’s best interest if he just kept to himself unless otherwise needed. He learned how to keep himself amused, taking up hobbies like origami or poetry. By the time he had reached high school he had become complacent in his life. Then everything had been shaken up when his mother said he would be going to Inaba. He wasn’t overly worried when she had first told him the plan, nor was he particularly upset to be leaving his childhood home. There was no one here to miss him, no friends who would cry if they found out he was leaving, no one to hug him and see him off to the train station.

No, it wasn’t until he exited the station and saw an older man look at him and smile, trying to make small talk. The man had not avoided looking him in the eye as mother and father often did, and had smiled upon making eye contact instead of looking away. From there every part of his well crafted life that he had built for himself over they years was taken away piece by piece. First it was by his classmates, who couldn’t seem to leave him alone. Then it was his energetic cousin, so full of life and energy that he couldn’t help but he swept up in it. It was Nanako who had caused his first real smile in years, and it was then that he realized how very hard it was becoming to keep hiding. As the murder investigation went on and more bonds were made bit by bit he opened up to others. He became more outgoing, helping others and butting into their business, even though he didn’t have to. He knew he shouldn’t, knew it would just make everyone around him unhappy, yet he started wondering if that was really true. He saw his friends smile when he was around, saw the positive affect he was having on the people of Inaba.

His uncle was one of these people. He noticed the way he treated Nanako, and through talking with the man, listening to him and opening up where he could he learned why. Even though he was starting to like the man who seemed to be taking an interest in him, though the reason why still alluded him, he resented the way he was treating Nanako. It kept reminding him of how his parents had treated him, which he was coming to believe was much more wrong than he had ever realized. The voices in his head screamed to leave it alone and not to mess things up, that it wasn’t any of his business how Dojima treated his daughter. He loved it here, where he could smile and laugh with people that didn’t mind his presence, who actually wanted him around, and he did not want to be sent away. However, he found he trusted his uncle in way that was missing in his relationship with his parents and had called his uncle out on his behavior. Though it was met initially with anger the man had ended up listening to him, and chased after his daughter and apologized. Yu had feared his promises might be empty, but the man had followed up, making more of an effort to not only listen to Nanako, but Yu as well. He found that it was more and more rare for Dojima to miss dinner, and the nights where the two of them shared a cup of coffee and just talked became more and more frequent.

He kept catching himself wondering if this was what it was like to truly have a family, though outwardly he schooled himself to act politely and friendly. He helped his friends with their issues and started to let his kind and compassionate nature run free when he saw that his efforts were not being rebuffed or scorned. He watched as his closed off uncle became more emotionally savvy, opening up himself not only to Yu and Nanako, but his friends as well. He started to forget about the days when his heart was like a chunk of ice, cold with no one willing to touch him with the warmth of love and instead started to believe that he had always been like this, with this roaring love and happiness in his chest like a well tended fire. Yet, something still bothered him. He understood that people did love him, and he loved them back with all he had. However, he didn’t always get why they loved him, what about him inspired this loyalty and devotion. He knew he was nothing special, was replaceable and easily dismissed, something his parents had repeatedly shown him. 

Now standing wrapped in his uncle’s arms with all these repressed feelings of doubt and self-hatred welling up inside of him these questions all of a sudden made themselves known again. Though he tried to keep them inside, not wanting to ruin this moment with his uncle, he eventually gave in.

Dojima had noticed that Yu had been quiet for a while, but he had been content to just hold him, rubbing his back until he had calmed down a bit. The silence ended with a statement that made the detective’s heart break once again. The boy in his arms looked up at him, his stoic face tear stained and lips quivering, and said with a shaky voice “I know you love me, I know you wouldn’t lie to me about it, I just don’t understand why you care.”

This statement, said with genuine confusion, like it was such a puzzling concept for people to love such a wonderful boy filled Dojima with more anger than he can remember feeling in a while. The closest feeling he can compare it to is what he was feeling when Nanako was taken by Namatame. That anyone could make his boy have such low self-esteem that he would question his place in the family even now made his blood boil with righteous fury. Yet the fury was quickly doused with a hearty helping of guilt, as he knew his silence on how he truly felt about the boy must have contributed to this question of his place in Dojima’s life.

He clung to the boy even tighter, trying to express with both his touch and his words the depth of his love for the boy who had become like a son in the last year. “You’re asking me why I care? Yu, I care because you’re one of the most wonderful, caring, loving, special people I have ever met.”

The boy blushed bright red at his uncle’s admission, the warm feeling of love blossoming in his chest, yet at the same time his self-doubt reared its ugly head again, making him doubt his uncle’s words. “That’s not true,” he said, though internally he hoped with everything he had that his uncle wouldn’t agree with his statement. The more rational part of him that had grown stronger from his time in Inaba chastised his for his disbelief, reminding him that he knew what he uncle felt for him, after all the man had just told him he loved him.

The irrational part him was in control right now however, the part that had kept him quiet and alone all these years, who had kept him in this self-imposed isolation and was always reminding him that it was better to not make a mess, not stand out, for fear of being rejected. This part of him could not help but doubt his uncle’s words, could not believe that he was any of the things his uncle said he was. He could feel himself panicking as he had earlier, right after he had told his uncle the truth. He started to become angry, though at who he was not certain. His parents, for putting these awful, ugly thoughts in his head that never seemed to want to let him believe good things about himself? His uncle, for forcing him to have to think about these thoughts and doubts that he had tried so very hard to keep to himself? Perhaps he was angry at himself for not behaving, for making a scene and not being the helpful good boy he knew he could be.

Whatever it was the anger quickly took hold, and he pushed himself violently from his uncle, his face changing from blushing red in embarrassment to red with unfocused rage. “Stop lying to me!” he shouted, “I’m not any of those things! You don’t understand what I really am! I’m not good or special or smart or anything else you’ve said. I’m a burden who should just leave everyone around him alone!” Yu wanted to say more, to keep yelling at his uncle, but his voice was choked with sobs that he could not longer hold back. He collapsed back into his chair; bringing his hands up to his face in a token effort to hide the tears streaming down. He knew that he had just ruined everything; that now Dojima knew how messed up he was inside he would send him away, far from the love, warmth and family that he knew he didn’t deserve but desperately wanted.

Dojima stumbled a bit when Yu pushed him back, and was put even more off balance by the anger the boy was displaying. Yu was a very good natured person from what he had witnessed, almost always backing down from arguments and being the first to apologize in the case of one happening. He had never seen the boy like this, so full of rage and sadness. What had his sister and brother in law done to make their son hate himself so much? He immediately pushed that thought off to the side, vowing to find out later because right now his only job was to comfort Yu and try to make things better.

He approached the chair Yu and collapsed in slowly, wary of the boy trying to push him away again. He kneeled in front of him and slowly wrapped his arms around him again, though this time his hold was much more gentle. “You are not a burden. You are so special and important to so many people. Nothing I said about you was a lie, especially when I told you I loved you. If I have to say it a thousand times before you believe it I will. You have become the big brother that Nanako needed, and the son that I never knew I wanted but also needed just as much. Your friends love you, your family loves you, and anyone who doesn’t can go straight to hell. I promise you that all of us want you around and will never ask you to leave.”

If anything Yu cried harder at the admission, though this time it was tears of joy and relief instead of sadness. He had laid himself bare in front of his uncle, had revealed the scared, sad, broken part of himself that couldn’t understand the unconditional love that his new family had offered him. Instead of the expected rejection his uncle had only repeated his love for him, had claimed him as his son, and promised that things would always be this way. He knew that the self-doubt and bad self image were not magically cured. He knew that he would still struggle with whether or not he was truly loved or whether he belonged, in fact these thoughts might always be a part of him.

For now though, all he felt was happiness and love. He hugged his uncle back for the second time that night, this time with no hesitation or lingering doubts. For now he would enjoy feeling safe in the arms of his father in all but blood, his parent in every way. Who loved him, who wanted him, just how he was. He didn’t need to hide in these arms, he didn’t need to pretend he was alright. He just had to be himself, Yu Narukami, and for once, this was enough.

Though Yu gave no reply the hug was more than enough to alleviate Dojima’s fears. They both finally understood each other, and it was one of the most wondrous feelings. Having the boy trust him enough to let him hold him now, for Yu to let Dojima see him at his weakest meant more than anything. He would be content to hold him forever, his lump of sad, happy, wonderful boy. Who wasn’t perfect, who had doubts and fears, but was made all the more human for them. This was the boy he loved, loved as much as his daughter and wife. The one who he knew he could no longer live without. 

He vowed that Yu was not leaving. To hell with his sister, he would find a way to keep the boy safe from her and anyone else who hurt him. He would find a way to keep him with his family. For now though, he held his boy content in this moment that he was able to do what was right, what was needed. This was enough for now.


End file.
